I could direct this post to women and repeat something that was said milion times (which is – women – just tell your men exactly what you mean), but why? Instead I would like to direct this to men and repeat something that was said milion times minus one. And that one is just this post.
Among women awareness about that If we don’t tell you something, you will not figure it out, began to increase dramatically. Women say between lines more rarely and more often simply and directly. By talking to others I noticed that nowadays we have another issue – men lose what their women are saying.
I understand what’s the reason. It’s some correlation, which was created in the distant past. (I know that this post will be reading mostly by women, so I would like to explain something). Women are more talkative and social than men. This is due to the fact that in the past we were taking care of the encampment, raising kids, we were cooking what men hunt down and generally we were surrounded by others all the time – we develop social field pretty well.
Unlike us, men do not like to talk this much! They don’t like to dwell on what have what kind of color (for men good boar is dead boar; for women good boar is fresh and healthy boar, which might be associated with debates about it’s color, smell, consistency or general appearance). During hunting men developed different fields. Imagine for example that it’s hunting for this boar or other moose, everyone is lurking in the bushes. Almost everyone, because there is one man – he has never been hunting, he was raised and surrounded by women entire life, he did exact same things as women. So there is this hunting, moose is coming and suddenly this man is starting nice conversation about fur trying to get everyone’s attention. What is happening? Of course that moose is runnig away, but not that moose should start running away.. Men has been taught to be quiet, produce words only if necessary (for example, that some other race is getting closer) and dealing with issues quick and definitely.
Understanding this correlation is the key if women and men want to survive staying close to each other. We are different and that’s all.
Going back to the merits of the case, I know you often have that impression that you are trying to listen to your women, but after few minutes of this Chatter about nothing (of course in your opinion), you just give up. It’s totally normal (yes, this is still me – woman)! For women this chatter is really, extremely important. And that’s totally normal too. However how to find out only something that is essential from all this mess of words? That’s really hard thing to do – you just have to learn selective listening or you might adjust with your woman some „rules” of conversation (for example – you agree to listen everytime when she promise that it’s something crucial to your relationship), or I don’t know what you should do.
On the other hand I did notice a few moments when women are mostly gladly and honestly talking about how they feel – then it’s really worth to listen (it depends on what you want to find out):
- Moment, when you want to learn about her interests, find out where to take her to absolutely amazing adventure and she will be enjoying i or if she needs anything lately – what gift you should give her on her birthday. Mostly it’s this moment, when there is really good between you two and she is excited or dreamy.
- Moment, when you want to figure out what she is really thinking about your relationship or about you. This moment is when you are fighting – she is angry – then she will tell what she has on her heart, which situation she doesn’t like. If you really would like to create something with this woman, swallow your pride – just listen to her and try to remember what she is saying, in best option put into effect.
Women are more social creatures and each problem they are solving by… conversation! That’s why they talk this much. For me crucial thing in relationship is to know each other and the easiest way to do this is just listen to your half and remember it. For woman it’s really important if she fells like she’s special for you – if you will surprise her with exact same thing that she’ve alway wanted – that means that you know her a lot. Believe me, for woman there is nothing more beautiful than feeling unique for this one person. So.. MEN, you don’t need to listen to everything we say, just LISTEN TO SOMETHING THAT IS IMPORTANT.
I will be glad to take any suggestions about blog, posts, photos or even language :)